To Rise Under Severe Tension

Our willingness to trust God is put to the test in difficult situations, not in easy ones. Did I just say something obvious? Not almost. God reminds us for the need to trust Him precisely because we struggle to do so in those areas.

I used to think that it is easiest to trust God in our times of desperation. I realised that people in desperation don't really trust God. They just need a quick solution to their problem. Trust is an intentional choice. A choice to say, "Yes, I will do it your way even though I really feel like doing it my way now cos I know my way will make me feel better and I really just need to feel better."

Trust is keeping the commandments of God in your heart and living and staying true to a life that will please God rather than your self or others, understanding that God is the ultimate justifier and judge of our lives. Even in the small things.

Yesterday, I was tempted to skip my presentation in school. I felt very lousy about the work I had done so far even though I knew that was the best I could do. I did not want to go through the whole process of standing before a crit panel and being "torn to shreds" by them. The thought of putting myself in that situation was just too unnerving. I had already typed an sms to my tutor to tell him that I had bad gastric and needed to see a doctor. Obviously it was a half-truth but I dreaded the crit presentation that much.

I thought long and hard about it and in a moment of seeming desperation, was going to press the 'send' button. Then I was reminded of what God has been teaching me. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Was I acknowledging God in this matter if I were to take the easy way out? The answer is obvious!

I took a deep breath and prepared my stuff. If God is a God who says will carry me through and I believed in such a God, then I need to let my actions speak for it. Thank God, the presentation did not go far south like I thought it would. I was certainly not "torn to shreds" as I imagined. In fact, I thought there were quite some constructive suggestions. Though I was still pretty negative about the whole experience yesterday, on hindsight today, I see it was the hand of God that brought me through. I now understand why Solomon said to acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight.

To borrow a quote,

"Be a (Godly) man. Do the right thing!"